The train trip to Tabard with the Venus girls was the best Venus trip I’ve ever been on. Can’t imagine why, but one of the coaches (let’s call him coach no. 1) wasn’t there. Coincidence? Anyways there wasn’t nearly as much rambling on the way there as on the way back.
Tabard hadn’t lost a game since 2009 and since we respect tradition we let them continue that winning streak. Rugby is a game of two halves and they won them both. However, we still stuck it to them. New recruit Jess and her chicken stealing, baby snatching dingo blaming partner Shavourne smashed them a new one several times. Hannah put on a brilliant display of how good a front row forward can be if you get all over the pitch without stopping for a breather/waddle every 2 metres (Tank and Andy Stephens take note). We also had Caroline all over the show running herself ragged and scaring the bejeezus out of people with scary faces and a big loud ‘Raaarrrr’. Celine turned up a bit late but we kitted her up with a jersey big enough for Bates and sent her out to the trenches. First tackle she gets smashed but she’s right back up and does it again. I reassure her she’ll be fine. Next tackle she gets smashed again. But kudos to her she did it again and again and kept coming back for more. Bit like that Rocky movie when he gets the bash from Mr T.
Somewhere amongst the smoke and flames and the naked streaker we spotted a gap and Sarah Davis went for it like a bat out of hell. Or maybe like Bates trying to get a seat on the dlr. Or a pie from the fridge. Anyways she pulled out all the stops and pinned her ears back and out gassed the lot of them to run in from 40 metres out. Not bad for a debut! Chris if you’re reading this, get her to teach you how to play.
We lost but the silver lining is the girls put in a stellar performance and at the end of the day rugby was the winner on the day. Full credit to the opposition for being so well organised and for lending us some of their players. Thanks to the ladies in the kitchen as well.
Cheers, Coach no. 2 (part time coach no. 1)
P.S. First girl to tell me (after the next game) how many clichés I’ve used in this report gets a drink on me.
